You don’t have to do-it-all…
Are you a problem solver? Whether it’s repairing something in your home, helping a colleague, or taking care of a family matter, you always find a way to resolve what’s not working properly. Sometimes, we can feel overwhelmed when we cannot solve everything immediately and it is likely that you will not do so because you are prioritizing work issues that already have a space on your agenda, for sure.
It seems important to me that – before allowing ourselves this feeling of overwhelm – we reflect on its causes, which come from our way of thinking.
First of all, we have spent many years building an identity as problem solvers or responsible people. Thus, our ego comes into conflict when we add a pending item to our mental list and hours, days or weeks pass and we do not solve it.
Second, because of the pressure we live in in a hyper-connected world where we receive emails, instant messages and our social networks move all the time, we may unconsciously have the idea that everything that falls under our attention has to be resolved. Immediately.
Thus, my recommendation when you have many things to resolve, other than your work matters, is to recognize that most things DO NOT require immediate attention and take the following measures:
1. If the matter can be delegated, make sure to do it soon and to the person who has the skills and knowledge to resolve it.
2. If it is a request made by another person, make agreements on the date by which it has to be resolved and establish realistic steps in time to do it. With these definitions, the tasks required from you can now go on your calendar.
3. If it is a personal or domestic matter, which you still do not know how to integrate into your calendar, have a personal list and a domestic list, these are only examples, and review it at least a couple of times a week, to define, according to its importance and your closest reality, when is the right time to do it.
Having “parking lists” of your pending items frees you from the fear you may have of forgetting or becoming the irresponsible person you don’t want to be. Furthermore, the clarity that each thing happens at its own time (because you made the decision to delegate, scheduled it or parked it), increases your feeling of control and peace of mind regarding its resolution.