Whether we realize it or not, we all have rules of life and these have been there for a long time. And you surely know that if something is not working for you the way you want, chances are that you are acting under rules that are not serving you, defined by you or by others.
Our parents and educators were the first to set rules in our lives, such as brushing our teeth after meals or washing our hands before dinner. We are more aware today than 50 years ago about the caries problems that can result from not doing it in the first case and infections in the second.
But we have also learned other rules, to live in community and to do business. Are your rules clear? Are written? Do they make it easier for you to make decisions? Do others know them?
In my case, I am clear about them but I do not always share them with everyone. I think that many times, our way of proceeding makes it clear to others how we like things to be done when we are involved. Below I share some:
- I invest my time well
- I speak the truth
- I am willing to listen to others with an open mind
- In extreme scenarios, “I underpromise” and “I overdeliver”
- I act consciously and take responsibility for the results
- I try to be punctual
- I treat others and do for them the same things that I want them to do for me
- If I don’t have anything good to say about someone, I keep quiet
Having life rules defines who we are, for ourselves and before others. When a person acts coherently by their own definitions, we say that they have character, the essential element of leadership, because leaders must let our team know who we are and what they can and cannot expect from us (Let me be clear: we are all leaders of that little square we are stepping on).
The rules we create for our lives save us time and energy when making decisions, helping us to be effective and feel more satisfied.
For example, investing my time well means that I spend time with people I love and who contribute to my life, or I organize my work life as best as possible to achieve the productivity I want, or I go to the gym to stay in shape, to raise my energy and conversely, if I can intervene in a fight so that we do not spend unnecessary time and energy on emotional discomfort, I do it too; I take advantage of the “unproductive time” in a traffic jam listening to a podcast to learn something or find out news, etc.
When you feel that an uncomfortable situation in your life persists, ask yourself if it is already time to define a rule to establish a limit and start acting according to it. The coherence you achieve will increase your satisfaction and happiness.